As part of this initiative, we had the opportunity to speak with Aamir Ahmad, ELFT's Vice-Chair (London), to discuss his personal experiences and journey toward prioritising his mental health. In this conversation, Aamir sheds light on the challenges men face in seeking help and the importance of breaking the silence surrounding mental health issues.
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I would like to talk about my journey regarding mental health, which I believe is a crucial aspect of overall well-being. Growing up, I was conditioned by societal norms and family values that dictated what it meant to be a man. I internalised the idea that a man should always be strong, confident, and selfless, never showing any vulnerability or weakness.
This mentality led me to constantly prioritise taking care of others, ensuring the well-being of my family and friends. I embraced the role of a provider, which became my identity. Unfortunately, in doing so, I neglected my own needs and emotions. I rarely spoke about what was happening within me and never felt comfortable showing any vulnerability. I would bottle up my feelings, always putting on a brave face and soldiering through life's challenges.
However, as I reached middle age, I experienced a significant turning point. I underwent a reevaluation of my values and questioned whether the life I was living truly aligned with my authentic self. I realised that I had been living according to the expectations of others—my parents, society—rather than following my own path. It was then that I started experiencing a profound sense of dissatisfaction and confusion.
Thankfully, I sought therapy to help me navigate this difficult period. Opening up and honestly discussing my feelings was a new and unfamiliar experience for me. I had spent so long suppressing my emotions that I often didn't even know how I truly felt. I had constructed a confident and successful persona that I projected to the world, but it had become detached from who I really was deep down.
Therapy became a transformative journey for me. It allowed me to reconnect with my true self and rediscover my own values and aspirations. It also made me realise the importance of mental health in my life. This realisation was so profound that when the opportunity to join ELFT arose, I knew it was the right path for me. Working in the mental health field became my calling, as it aligned with my personal values and allowed me to make a positive impact.
In my current clinical practice, I have the privilege of working with both men and women. However, I've noticed a common trend among men, especially those from middle-aged backgrounds and BME (Black and Minority Ethnic) communities. Men tend to shy away from discussing their personal struggles and rarely share what's happening in their lives. There's often a reluctance to open up, and conversations among male friends often revolve around banter rather than vulnerability.
This cultural tendency, coupled with phrases like "man up," creates a significant barrier for men seeking support. Unfortunately, mental health concerns are sometimes dismissed or ridiculed, further perpetuating the stigma surrounding men's mental well-being. It's crucial that we change this narrative and create a safe and supportive environment for men to open up without fear of judgment or ridicule.
Through my own journey, I've learned the power of vulnerability and the importance of seeking help when needed. I believe that by sharing our experiences and challenging societal norms, we can make a real difference in men's mental health. Together, we can break the silence and create a supportive space where men feel comfortable discussing their emotions and seeking the help they deserve.
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Aamir Ahmad's journey toward prioritising his mental health and embracing vulnerability serves as an inspiring example during Men's Health Week.
By breaking the silence surrounding mental health and challenging societal expectations, Aamir hopes to encourage more men to seek help and support when they need it. His personal experience and dedication to working in mental health demonstrate the transformative power of embracing authenticity and fostering open conversations about mental well-being.